How Long Distance Relationship Affect Couples
The physical distance alone can be devastating to all but the strongest bonds, but there are other factors that complicate things, too. Here, we look at some of these “mischief-makers” and how to deal with them successfully.
Finding a soulmate is hard enough; keeping one intact across the oceans is a different ball-game altogether!
- Fights. Even in close proximity, fights between couples can’t be avoided. With a long-distance relationship, this factor is multiplied many times over. So what’s the answer to constant fighting over the phone or via Skype?The Solution: The only answer to this is dialogue! “The more you talk, the more you can talk it out.” Don’t just reserve your daily scheduled or unscheduled conversations to discuss “what’s going on with you” types of topics. Get into the real issues: your differences, your individuality, the need to resolve issues rather than complicate them, and so on and so forth. Dialogue cannot only help you resolve fights, but it can give you valuable insight into the other person’s point of view. Over time, it is guaranteed to reduce the psychological distance between the two of you.
- Jealousy. This is always an issue, especially if your partner has a better job, better location, etc. It also extends to jealousy about their mingling with other people that you have no control over. Jealousy is a dangerous disease that needs to be nipped in the bud,
so here’s what to do…
The Solution:Self-esteem is the only thing that can take jealousy away. If you are threatened by the other’s success, you have only yourself to blame. Love who you are, not what others think about you. This kind of self-love has nothing to do with narcissism; it is the kind of self-love that gives you true self-confidence rather than a false sense of self-importance. That’s the only way!
- Fear of Infidelity. Obviously, if you’re a thousand miles away and yearning for physical contact, this is a real danger. To avoid this, there’s only one thing you can do…
The Solution: Try to meet at least once a year. Plane tickets aren’t that expensive if you plan for them in advance, and the sheer thrill of waiting for that moment will be worth the wait. Besides this, you also need to give each other the confidence that you love each other enough to abstain from physical relations with anyone else. It’s not impossible, right?
- Fear of Psychological Separation. This is far more tangible than anyone might think. Physical separation is one thing, but drifting away mentally is a far greater possibility with long-distance relationships. Of course, constant contact will bring you ever closer, but there’s one other thing you can do to keep your minds “locked in” to each other.
The Solution: Share your schedules with each other and send random messages through the day. Today’s technology allows you to do this on the move so you don’t have to wait to get to a laptop. Send a text, send a surprise e-greeting card or just give your partner a missed call to let them know you’re thinking about them. This will bring you closer than actual physical proximity ever can.
2.Missing You! There’s not much you can do about the fact that you can’t hold the person in your arms whenever you like. This is probably the most frustrating thing of all. To counter this, try this method…
The Solution: Exchange gifts that remind you of each other. Send them via regular snail mail and hold on to these valuables. They say that a person’s possessions carry a part of them wherever they go. Even if you don’t believe that, the association of a person’s possessions with that person is undeniable. It could be anything, as long as it gives you the feeling that they are right there with you.
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2) Each should consider what your roles have been in the relationship problems. It's easier to blame the other than to take responsibility. Now's the time to prepare to own your part. If you're not ready to do that now, that's ok. But be aware that this will probably come up sooner rather than later in the counseling process.
